Raiden and Shinnok Are Friends

[Shan]

Okay, I wrote this on another MK board in a thread about things you wouldn't hear a kombatant say. I made a few changes.



SHINNOK: Do you want a pie?
RAIDEN: Not today.
SHINNOK: Please?
RAIDEN: No.
SHINNOK: I'll be your best friend.
RAIDEN: ...
SHINNOK: What?
RAIDEN: YOU'RE MY WORST ENEMY!
SHINNOK: I'll stop trying to take over Earthrealm.
RAIDEN: Oh, COME ON! Like I'd fall for that!
SHINNOK: Just try it.
RAIDEN: All right.

Raiden eats a piece of Shinnnok's pie.

SHINNOK: So, Raiden, you like it?
RAIDEN: That was pretty good! You're my new best friend.
SHINNOK: YAY!
RAIDEN: I have a question for you, Shinnok.
SHINNOK: Yeah?
RAIDEN: Do you think Master Bo' Rai Cho is fat? Be honest for once.
SHINNOK: Well, yeah. He's a fat drunkard.
RAIDEN: At least he can fight.
SHINNOK: True.

Noob Saibot enters.

NOOB SAIBOT: Lord Shinnok, do you need more oni parts?
RAIDEN: What does he do with oni parts?
NOOB SAIBOT: He uses them for pie filling.
RAIDEN: WHAT?! *covers his mouth* Oh, BY the GODS!

Raiden vomits.

SHINNOK: Why'd you do that? We were best friends.
RAIDEN: Not anymore!

Shinnok cries and runs away.

RAIDEN: Shinnok, come back! I didn't mean it!
NOOB SAIBOT: Pie filling.
RAIDEN: Will you SHUT UP?
NOOB SAIBOT; You're a meaniehead! I'm telling the Elder Gods!
RAIDEN: You make me sick.

Later, in the Temple of the Elder Gods...

NOOB SAIBOT: Hello? Anyone here?
ELDER GOD OF FIRE: Who are you? Where are you from? How did you get in here? What do you want?
NOOB SAIBOT: I am Noob Saibot. I am from the Netherrealm. I walked in. I have a beef with a fellow god of yours.
ELDER GOD OF FIRE: What is it?
NOOB SAIBOT: *crying* Raiden was mean to me!
ELDER GOD OF FIRE: Why was Raiden mean to you?
NOOB SAIBOT: See, Shinnok puts oni parts in his pies.
ELDER GOD OF FIRE: Disgusting! Go on.
NOOB SAIBOT: He convinced Raiden to try a piece. He enjoyed it.
ELDER GOD OF FIRE: Raiden likes oni parts?
NOOB SAIBOT: Well, he didn't know he had eated oni parts until I mentioned it.
ELDER GOD OF FIRE: And...
NOOB SAIBOT: He threw up...a lot.
ELDER GOD OF FIRE: Quietly or loudly?
NOOB SAIBOT: Oh, it was loud...REALLY loud! Why?
ELDER GOD OF FIRE: Go lick it off the floor.
NOOB SAIBOT: But--
ELDER GOD OF FIRE: DO IT! Then go French-kiss Mileena!

Meanwhile...

RAIDEN: I didn't mean to yell at you, Shinnok.
SHINNOK: But why were you so mad?
RAIDEN: Well, when I hear the word "oni", I think of Drahmin. Not exactly tasty-looking.
SHINNOK: Are you okay?
RAIDEN: Yes, yes I'm fine.
SHINNOK: So...are we friends again?
RAIDEN: *thinks for a moment* Sure.

Raiden extends a hand; Shinnok runs over and hugs Raiden tightly.

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